Body insecurity post-miscarriage (and how I overcame it).

A photo by Anders Jildén. unsplash.com/photos/O85h02qZ24w

It was on my heart to share something quick this morning.

In January I had two blood transfusions. This was a month after I lost my 18 week old baby boy.

It happened. Even after I almost died, I still managed to lose my focus and get wrapped up in my post-miscarriage body image. 

For almost one month I could hardly walk up and down our stairs without getting dizzy. Showering was a battle. I hadn’t worked out regularly in three months. Emotionally, I was in the worst state of my life.

Then one morning, I got a call from 24 hour fitness in March to teach BodyPump from an audition the fall prior. Everything in me wanted to say no!  I thought, how on earth can I teach BodyPump in a few weeks?? There is no way! But something inside of me said “do it”. So I said yes. Then I got off the phone and fretted like a crazy woman. Tears streamed down my face and I was angry at myself. Why did I say yes? Why did I think I could do this? I still remember looking down at my belly and grabbing a handful of fat, already feeling the judgement of class-goers.

I started doing HIIT at home in my basement. 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Push-ups. Sit ups. Basics. The first time I tried I remember doing ten squats and then giving up. I didn’t know how I would be able to teach a class. “Slow and steady, steady and smooth” is something I kept telling myself, something Brian, my husband, reminds me often.

Soon I could do a BodyPump class with no weight. A week later I added some small dumb-bells

Fast forward to today, 5 months later, and I am lifting more than I ever have. It makes me want to cry when I think about it. I can’t really put a finger to what it is, but I think it was pushing through me ego. Teaching not for myself or how I look in the mirror but for my fitness, for compassion for others who had to endure with their health that made them feel like they couldn’t get back in shape ever again. It stopped being about “me”.

I still remember one workout at our Crossfit gym where I was on my way to a pull-up bar and I literally left the room in tears. My face got hot with anger because my body couldn’t do what I wanted it to. I felt like a failure. That night I felt the love of friends and family stand beside me and root me on, and gently remind me to be patient with myself.

It’s kinda funny now to think of, but I know that it’s a real anxiety so many people have when they step in the gym. I wanted to share because our heart is so much stronger than our minds or bodies. My heart aches for every mom who is nervous to get back into a workout routine. Compassion fills me for those who are ashamed to step foot into class. But I want to say this: join me, and do it with me! We can do this. Slow and steady, steady and smooth. Every rep does count. Five minutes a day adds up. Do it for something other than the mirror. Find your “why” and stick with it. This is so much more than just fitness. This “why” is in everything in life.

Let’s Be Friends Blog Hop!

A blog hop is a set time frame for current or aspiring bloggers to find new blogs and quality content. It is a great way to make new friends and find inspiration! It is also a fabulous way to promote your own blog and posts.

Dear Friends,
What a day to celebrate! This is the 185th week of the Let’s Be Friends blog hop! Thanks for joining us on this special day. Chelsee and Tiffany are extremely delighted to see the way this hop has grown and love to see your faces each week!

Join us every Tuesday at 7am (MST). This blog hop focuses on content. LINK UP YOUR FAVORITE POST from last week in this fun content-sharing blog hop! I love the idea of blog hopping, but I love the idea of reading posts and quality content on new blogs I’ve never been to even more. Instead of simply linking up your blog button, you are now able to link up your favorite post you recently wrote. Have a delicious recipe to share, DIY tutorial, or heartfelt post? Share it with us! All hosts and co-hosts put up some unique and fun content from the past week. Make sure to check them out. P.S.- you may still link up your blog button and blog name, but it is encouraged to link up your favorite post instead. You will get more page views and interest if you do so! Some of the most successful blog hops I have participate in focus on content rather than just exchanging follows. You never know who will become a loyal follower or pin that delicious new recipe you posted!
The BEST part of this blog hop? Each week there will be a WINNER! That’s right, each week we will choose one lucky blog to feature from the previous week’s hop. This hop receives thousands of page views every week, so your blog will have the chance to be center stage for free. You must follow all the hosts in order to win. Only those who link up a specific post are eligible to be featured! *You must follow all the hosts and co-hosts in order to win.
Let’s Be Friend’s Blog Hop Guidelines
1. Link up your favorite post from your week.
2. Follow your hosts and co-hosts.
3. Grab the button and post it on your blog so we can share the love.
4. Visit 3 other blogs, comment, and follow them along!
5. Tweet about this blog hop, using #letsbefriends
6. Pin the button on pinterest so we can spread the news!
Let's Be Friends

 

***Once a week, one blog will be chosen to be the featured blogger from the previous blog hop.
Meet your hosts:

The Dwelling Tree: Blog, Bloglovin’

Southern Beauty Guide: Blog, Bloglovin’
Thank you all once again for continually linking up at our blog hop. It is such a fun time and I am so impressed each week with all the amazing posts. Please continue to link up an actual post instead of your blog. We want to keep reading your content and it makes it more fun to pick a winner!

Is there anything we can do differently or better? Please share in the comments!

…on to the Winner!

***This weeks featured post from last week’s hop:

 

Blog Post:

how-to-build-kitchen-cabinets-grandmashousdiy

 

How to build your own kitchen cabinets

Image Source: Grandma’s House DIY

Hi everyone! This is Chelsee this week. I love all of the post you linked up! I am so excited to share the winner this week with all of you. Tarah linked up this DIY kitchen cabinets that was amazing! There are tons of pictures to show the entire process. As someone that loves DIY projects and renovations coming up, this post hit home with me! Make sure you head over and check out this post! Thanks for linking this post up!


Let’s Be Friends Blog Hop is now Live! Come link up!

A blog hop is a set time frame for current or aspiring bloggers to find new blogs and quality content. It is a great way to make new friends and find inspiration! It is also a fabulous way to promote your own blog and posts.

Dear Friends,
What a day to celebrate! This is the 184th week of the Let’s Be Friends blog hop! Thanks for joining us on this special day. Chelsee and Tiffany are extremely delighted to see the way this hop has grown and love to see your faces each week!

Join us every Tuesday at 7am (MST). This blog hop focuses on content. LINK UP YOUR FAVORITE POST from last week in this fun content-sharing blog hop! I love the idea of blog hopping, but I love the idea of reading posts and quality content on new blogs I’ve never been to even more. Instead of simply linking up your blog button, you are now able to link up your favorite post you recently wrote. Have a delicious recipe to share, DIY tutorial, or heartfelt post? Share it with us! All hosts and co-hosts put up some unique and fun content from the past week. Make sure to check them out. P.S.- you may still link up your blog button and blog name, but it is encouraged to link up your favorite post instead. You will get more page views and interest if you do so! Some of the most successful blog hops I have participate in focus on content rather than just exchanging follows. You never know who will become a loyal follower or pin that delicious new recipe you posted!
The BEST part of this blog hop? Each week there will be a WINNER! That’s right, each week we will choose one lucky blog to feature from the previous week’s hop. This hop receives thousands of page views every week, so your blog will have the chance to be center stage for free. You must follow all the hosts in order to win. Only those who link up a specific post are eligible to be featured! *You must follow all the hosts and co-hosts in order to win.
Let’s Be Friend’s Blog Hop Guidelines
1. Link up your favorite post from your week.
2. Follow your hosts and co-hosts.
3. Grab the button and post it on your blog so we can share the love.
4. Visit 3 other blogs, comment, and follow them along!
5. Tweet about this blog hop, using #letsbefriends
6. Pin the button on pinterest so we can spread the news!
Let's Be Friends

 

***Once a week, one blog will be chosen to be the featured blogger from the previous blog hop.
Meet your hosts:

The Dwelling Tree: Blog, Bloglovin’

Southern Beauty Guide: Blog, Bloglovin’
Thank you all once again for continually linking up at our blog hop. It is such a fun time and I am so impressed each week with all the amazing posts. Please continue to link up an actual post instead of your blog. We want to keep reading your content and it makes it more fun to pick a winner!

Is there anything we can do differently or better? Please share in the comments!

…on to the Winner!

***This weeks featured post from last week’s hop:

 

Blog Post:

Warby Parker 3 finished

 

Sunnie Style

Image Source: Topshop Tulip

Hi everyone! This is Tiffany this week. I love the blog Topshop Tulip by Hayley and Ciara! They have really fun and great posts, and I was drawn to the cute clothes and spreads for summer style! I love their blog and love the diverse posts. You should check them out! And look at those super cute glasses. Thanks for linking this post up!