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The journey of a stay at home mom





When I decided to stay at home, I didn’t know what I was jumping into. I was independent, self-sustaining, and hard-working. I loved being a career gal, being able to purchase something when I wanted, and getting my hair done every twelve weeks. 

When I had Lillian, my heart exploded. I was never very maternal, but knew from the moment I laid eyes on her my life would never be the same. 

Fast forward to Lillian being two weeks away from her tenth month. Thousands of snapshots later, poopy diapers, and boobie feedings- I am sitting in Starbucks for the first time, solo. I am enjoying my double espresso over ice, writing, and reflecting. This the first time I’ve done this since I was pregnant. 

Today my husband gave me the greatest gift- time to myself. Oh, he’s given it before, but to be honest I was either so tired or neurotic that I never actually took advantage of it. I did my toes, nails, and eyebrows, and felt non cave-woman like for the first time in months. I went to a weight lifting class. And here I am now, writing. A purely blissful day. 

Where did the time go? How has it taken me ten months to breathe again? (I mean this metaphorically, of course). 

I am amazed at how different the adult world is. Oh yes, there is stress and deadlines and rush hour- but it’s such a strange tic-toc rhythm that I have forgotten the tune. My days are filled with Cheerios spilled across the floor, piles of laundry, Sesame Street, and play dates. I am never busy with “important” stuff like business deals or surgery, yet every moment is precious and fleeting. This constant push and pull is what keeps me sucked into mommy world- the pressure of knowing it is all happening too fast and I can’t keep up. Every new interaction is a teaching moment, a chance for me to continually help my daughter learn the beat of the world she is growing into. I am over committed to bible studies, play dates, volunteer work, babysitting, and helping others who have a day job and are busy. I am frazzled! 

But happy. I love my messy, unpredictable, cave-woman life. 

Because here is the bottom line- this moment is fleeting, too. One day, I will be propelled back into adult world, where puppets are no longer magical and stories of fantasy are exchanged for world news. One day, even my own daughter will know everything (which happens to every fourteen year old I know). 

So I will savor this sweet, fleeting time. Who knows? Maybe I undermine the importance of days in the park with my daughter and eating Cheerios while making funny faces, but perhaps they are the most important things I will ever do. 

In a few moments, I will pack up my bag and computer, drive home, and re-enter mommy world. 

Meanwhile, Starbucks is down the street humming the delightful and ever so tempting music of the other world, and now I know I can always return when I’m ready. 

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16 Comments

  • Reply Rachel

    Hi! New follower from the linkup. Loving your blog & can’t wait to read more 🙂 Hope you have a great day!
    Rachel
    http://sugar-stripes.blogspot.com/

    January 24, 2013 at 5:05 pm
  • Reply Christina Marie

    Hey lady! I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award! You can accept it Here: http://christinamarieharris.blogspot.com/2013/01/liebster-award-o.html

    Cheers to you for heart warming posts about the joys of being a stay at home mom and here’s hoping that you get more followers!

    XO Christina

    January 25, 2013 at 4:59 am
  • Reply Katherines Corner

    what a lovely post. “me time” is crucial for young mommies. well deserved. Thank you for sharing Hugs!

    January 25, 2013 at 5:34 pm
  • Reply Megan Maguire

    New follower from the hop! 🙂

    http://bigmegowski.blogspot.ie/

    xo

    January 26, 2013 at 12:11 am
  • Reply Donah D. Sweetjellybean

    Hi there! Following you from the hop and one of the co-hosts too!

    I can definitely relate to the whole ‘me time’ thing, you deserve it!

    Motherhood can be crazy, but there’s also fun and moments with our little ones we definitely don’t want to miss!

    Thanks for sharing, your Lillian is gorgeous!

    xx Donah
    http://www.sweetjellybean.com

    January 26, 2013 at 12:24 am
  • Reply HayleyInWonderland

    Aww this is a lovely post 🙂 Lillian is beautiful 🙂

    I’m a new follower from the blog hop 🙂

    Hayley
    http://sparklesandstretchmarks.blogspot.co.uk

    January 26, 2013 at 12:27 am
  • Reply Bailey- I Know All the Words

    aww, she’s adorable!

    New follower from the ‘I Love My Post’ hop!

    http://www.iknowallthewords.com

    January 26, 2013 at 1:02 am
  • Reply Nifty Thrifty Mom

    Following from the blog hop. Thanks so much for co hosting. It would tickle me to death if you ever stop by the Nifty Thrifty Family. http://niftythriftyfamily.blogspot.com/

    January 26, 2013 at 1:14 am
  • Reply piedev

    aww the baby is so cute <3
    i love to see your instadwell.. >.<

    new follower from I love my post hop ^^

    Rossy♥
    Me, MySelf and I

    January 26, 2013 at 1:20 am
  • Reply Leslie Hernandez

    Nice post, thanks for co-hosting the I love my post blog hop too 🙂 It is always nice to have time for ourselves specially if you’re a mommy thanks for sharing Hugs

    Leslie
    Bravenezz.com

    January 26, 2013 at 2:11 am
  • Reply themagfiqueway

    I am so glad you co-hosted the I love my host blog hop, loving your blog!

    January 26, 2013 at 5:22 am
  • Reply Emily Santos

    I always wondered if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, if I ever have children. My mom did it, and she says it’s wonderful. But like you, I am so career-obsessed and still don’t know if that’s what I want to focus on. But I am glad you got some much-needed time to yourself. What a wonderful photo.

    I am now following you on Bloglovin, hope you can stop by mine too – adayindurham.com.

    You new follower,
    -Em

    January 26, 2013 at 11:21 am
  • Reply mail4rosey

    Me time sounds wonderful, kudos to hubby for the consideration, and it was probably awesome for him too, to have that one-on-one time w/the little one (who’s picture I love by the way!). Visiting from the Love my Post hop. 🙂

    January 26, 2013 at 1:24 pm
  • Reply Julie

    You are a very talented writer! This is such a sweet post about being a mommy. And your daughter is beautiful.

    January 26, 2013 at 8:17 pm
  • Reply Pary Moppins

    What a sweet post. Enjoy those moments of quiet and relaxation so that you can best enjoy those moments with your little one. Found you through Bloggy Moms.

    January 27, 2013 at 5:28 pm
  • Reply mintu khan

    While interplanetary probes vacation an occasional grain of dirt might affix per se on the digital camera.
    Cayo Santa Maria

    November 19, 2013 at 11:21 am
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