Anything worth having is worth fighting for

Anything worth having is worth fighting for.
-Susan Elizabeth Phillips
I was pacing my house looking for anything to clean. I was busy packing my bags and getting everything organized. I was a few days overdue to have my daughter, and anxious was not the right word to capture how I felt. A mix of excitement, anxiety, fear, and an overwhelming sense of the feeling unprepared for what was to come filled my heart.

That is when my water broke. It was time. Frantic, I cried out for my husband, thankful he was home to help. I couldn’t even move. I didn’t know what to do!

I called our midwives, ready to rush into the hospital. They urged us to take out time, eat a sit down meal, and come when I started feeling contractions. We did. And at the dinner table, with my husband, I received the best little snippet of wisdom that would carry me through the 26 hours of labor that was soon to come:
“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
He was right. Those hours were painful and scary at times. Rehearsing this quote in my mind gave me peace and excitement for the race I was running. Soon, so soon, I would meet my little girl. How amazing would that be?

When the time came, and I heard that little cry for the first time, it was as if the world stood still. My heart swelled with so much joy and awe that every ounce of pain or fear that I felt the moment before was numbed. I remember them sewing me up after my C-section and feeling like I was on cloud nine. I met her. My daughter! It was worth it! And I knew I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Every mother might share a similar story. It hurts, but it’s so so worth it.
Isn’t this the truth about everything worth having in life?
This week I celebrated my anniversary with my husband. We did it by going to lunch, sharing a couple of sandwiches and a beer, then heading to REI and World Market to browse and chat. Nothing remarkable at all. During that time I sat and enjoyed the conversation, laughed at his funny jokes, and marveled at how deeply I love him. I remember chuckling at how often I am angry with him over dumb things- how I tend to let the little things choke our marriage. Sitting back, laughing over a beer, and holding hands it became evident how much this man is worth fighting for.
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.
-Song of Solomon 2:15

How often do our relationships crumble over issues like money, sex, unmet longings or expectations, selfish and petty fights, in-laws, and even our own children? How often have I allowed “little foxes” to run through my vine and almost spoil the crop. 

My marriage, my children, and my faith. These three things are worth fighting for. Every little distraction or selfish desire that detracts from my fighting for these things allows a little fox to run wild among my vineyard. Just this week I’ve allowed discontentment, fear, comparison, envy, and disappointment make a mess of my vineyard. 
How do I find myself finding the strength to fight for what is truly important? Trusting God with obedience. When I trust God with my faith, my husband, and my child, I find my vineyard quenched and thriving. Contentment, love, gratitude, and joy are the gifts God graciously hands me as tools to fight for my beloved ones. 
They are worth fighting for. Even though marriage is difficult- I want to be able to enjoy a good belly laugh with my husband on a sunny afternoon. Even though being a mom is tiresome and demanding, I want to be able to swoop up my daughter in my arms, tickle her, and listen to that delightful giggle. Even though trusting in God is hard, I want to take great delight in His word, blessings, and assurance.

Happy Anniversary to my Love

This morning I am grateful. 
It has been two wonderful years of celebrating marriage with my husband. 


He is my best friend. 


He believes in me, and I believe in him. 
He is an amazing father. 
Happy Anniversary my love! Many more wonderful years to come! 

Saying no to self-pity this Sunday

Last night was rough. I have been exhausted from several days now of sleepless nights. I am tired. My little girl is either teething or just not feeling well, because she has woken up around six times each night in a fit.

Yesterday my husband finished four days of twelve hour work days. I love when he is off because I miss him and also get excited for a little family time. And a little break- maybe a few hours of time to myself.

Poor guy was exhausted. Pooped.

All night Lillian tossed and turned. All night I was a grumpy mess- stammering around the house looking for a pacifier or bottle, and at one point even making noise out loud trying to wake Brian up!

This morning I woke up bitter and tired. My daughter wanted to play but I wanted to sleep in! Not fair!

Ha. So of course the devotional I open up is about being on guard against the danger of self-pity.

“There are ways to protect yourself from self-pity. When you are occupied with praising and thanking Me, it is impossible to feel sorry for yourself. Also, the closer you live to Me, the more distance there is between you and the pit. Live in the Light of My Presence by fixing your eyes on Me.”
-Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverancethe race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-Hebrews 12:1-2