I was pacing my house looking for anything to clean. I was busy packing my bags and getting everything organized. I was a few days overdue to have my daughter, and anxious was not the right word to capture how I felt. A mix of excitement, anxiety, fear, and an overwhelming sense of the feeling unprepared for what was to come filled my heart.
That is when my water broke. It was time. Frantic, I cried out for my husband, thankful he was home to help. I couldn’t even move. I didn’t know what to do!
I called our midwives, ready to rush into the hospital. They urged us to take out time, eat a sit down meal, and come when I started feeling contractions. We did. And at the dinner table, with my husband, I received the best little snippet of wisdom that would carry me through the 26 hours of labor that was soon to come:
“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
He was right. Those hours were painful and scary at times. Rehearsing this quote in my mind gave me peace and excitement for the race I was running. Soon, so soon, I would meet my little girl. How amazing would that be?
When the time came, and I heard that little cry for the first time, it was as if the world stood still. My heart swelled with so much joy and awe that every ounce of pain or fear that I felt the moment before was numbed. I remember them sewing me up after my C-section and feeling like I was on cloud nine. I met her. My daughter! It was worth it! And I knew I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Every mother might share a similar story. It hurts, but it’s so so worth it.
Isn’t this the truth about everything worth having in life?
This week I celebrated my anniversary with my husband. We did it by going to lunch, sharing a couple of sandwiches and a beer, then heading to REI and World Market to browse and chat. Nothing remarkable at all. During that time I sat and enjoyed the conversation, laughed at his funny jokes, and marveled at how deeply I love him. I remember chuckling at how often I am angry with him over dumb things- how I tend to let the little things choke our marriage. Sitting back, laughing over a beer, and holding hands it became evident how much this man is worth fighting for.
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.
-Song of Solomon 2:15
How often do our relationships crumble over issues like money, sex, unmet longings or expectations, selfish and petty fights, in-laws, and even our own children? How often have I allowed “little foxes” to run through my vine and almost spoil the crop.
My marriage, my children, and my faith. These three things are worth fighting for. Every little distraction or selfish desire that detracts from my fighting for these things allows a little fox to run wild among my vineyard. Just this week I’ve allowed discontentment, fear, comparison, envy, and disappointment make a mess of my vineyard.
How do I find myself finding the strength to fight for what is truly important? Trusting God with obedience. When I trust God with my faith, my husband, and my child, I find my vineyard quenched and thriving. Contentment, love, gratitude, and joy are the gifts God graciously hands me as tools to fight for my beloved ones.
They are worth fighting for. Even though marriage is difficult- I want to be able to enjoy a good belly laugh with my husband on a sunny afternoon. Even though being a mom is tiresome and demanding, I want to be able to swoop up my daughter in my arms, tickle her, and listen to that delightful giggle. Even though trusting in God is hard, I want to take great delight in His word, blessings, and assurance.