I have been meaning to write a post some time now about being a new mom. I am currently just getting out of that post-new mom time of my life. I feel like it just happened, but I can also see it in the distance a little.
I had heard many of the typical things people tell you about being a new mom- sleep whenever you can squeeze it in, ask for help, and give yourself time to recuperate where some of the main things I was told.
Here is the thing: NOTHING can truly prepare you for what it is like when your little darling enters the world. All the books I read and advice I heard simply vanished. It is like trying to visualize what it is like to stand on the ocean and feel the sand between your toes. It’s impossible to really feel the waves crashing against your feet unless you are there.
Being a new mom is a delightful mess. I remember calling a friend and feeling lost. Where had my identity gone? I decided to stay home and quit my job as a Clinic Manager. I went from happy hour dates and weekend house warming parties to countless days and nights spent in my little apartment with a baby who seemed to need my every waking moment. I felt like I needed to fill my calendar with mommy play dates (I used to despise that word!), bible studies, and coffee runs with old friends. I remember wearing my tiny newborn in the baby carrier, trying to knock out my to-do list which consisted of grocery shopping, errand running at Target, and remembering to change diapers and feed Lillian (don’t judge- feeding every 2 hours and changing got difficult to stay on top of at first!). I felt important if I had a to do list. Even if it was ridiculous.
It is amazing how gross you feel those first few weeks. I mean, your boobs are going through massive changes. Leaks happen. I swore I would never have a horror moment but I did. I got in my car so quick to get a breast pad it was like magic. I could never find a moment to shower. I lived in my slippers and sweat pants, and remember being envious of new moms who looked cute.
Add to that the soreness of just having a baby, flat out exhaustion, and feeling like a walking zombie most of the time.
But here is the wonderful part: I LOVED IT.
I LOVED my changing role from being a woman in the workplace to a woman working in my home. It was hard, and I had moments where I wanted to fight it, but most of the time I was mesmerized by the most beautiful little person I had ever laid my eyes on. I spent hours gazing at those little toes, little hands and little eyes. I never thought (the busy body I was) I could spend an entire day on my couch listening to television in the background and cooing at a baby. I took thousands of pictures, ate cereal for dinner, and lived like I was camping- and I truly miss those days.
It is like this crazy love spilled into my heart and made me enjoy not getting enough sleep and feeling dirty all the time.
Having a kid is hard. It hurts so bad. The first few months are not glamorous, cute or pretty. There will be more poop and puke and body fluids than you ever thought you could live with. I felt flat our icky and avoided any function where I was supposed to get dolled up.
But it is SO so worth it. I look back on those times with nostalgia and fondness. There is a sweetness with how utterly difficult yet natural being a new mom is.
So, basically, I am saying be ready for the greatest adventure of your life (if you are getting ready to have a baby). Know ahead of time it is going to kick you in the butt, in a good kind of way;). Enjoy it, relish in it a little, and know that it is so incredibly fleeting you will be hanging on to every last bit of it as it passes.