You might be a new Mom if…

1. Pampers commercials make you cry.
2. Your friends and family think you might have an attention disorder as you cannot carry a conversation anymore.
3. You have food and “stuff” all over your clothes at any given moment.
4. You realize half way through your day that you have one eye with makeup and one without.
5. Your purse is filled with more potty supplies than anything else.
6. You have put your shirt on backwards and inside out at least once- and left the house that way.
7. You swore you would never refer to yourself and your husband as “Mommy and Daddy” in public, and you do now- all the time.
8. You’ve washed your kids booty in more kitchen and bathroom sinks across America than you would like to admit.
9. You now walk by the Mom and child having that TANTRUM moment in Target and instead of feeling annoyed or awkward, you feel relief- ITS NOT YOU!:)
10. Your fantasies include a beach, a fruity drink, and peace and quiet.
11. Some days your outfit looks like a two year old picked them out. Wink, wink.
12. Your boobs leak when other babies cry.
13. It takes you an entire month to reply to a Facebook message.
14. You are excited to finally be current with two shows on Netflix, but they happen to be Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba. True story.
15. Restaurants you used to love become your worst nightmare.
16. So, you start going to McDonalds again after years of banning it because in college you watched Fast Food Nation. You go for the playplace, duh! 😉
17.  You start doing that think you swore you would never do when you become a parent. “If your good for another minute I will give you ice cream”…. eek.
18. Your most used word is no.
19. You do that horrible, obnoxious thing where you try to have a conversation and then yell, loudly, across the room your kids name over and over even though they obviously are not listening.
20. The finale: you have had that moment where you decide to go to the mall, try on an outfit, and just when you are half naked your kid runs out from under the fitting room door into the store. (WHY OH WHY clothes stores do you have fitting room doors that are just big enough for a toddler to run out of?!). So you have no choice but to bust out of that room in whatever state you are and hunt down your kid in GAP. Another true story.

Comments

  1. says

    haha! So true! I wish I could say now that were not “new” anymore that we have recovered… but just yesterday I found myself thinking… I can’t complete a thought much less a sentence. I run away to chase my kid, or fix her behavior in the middle of conversations – ALL the time! People really must hate that about me!

    • says

      Isn’t it funny how that happens!? I feel horrible trying to have coffee dates with friends who don’t have kids. I can hardly keep track of anything. Glad I am not alone!

  2. says

    Hahaha, I loved this list. My favorite was just being glad that kid throwing a tantrum is not yours. Phew! And that last one is awesome.

    Today I went to LOFT because everything was 40% off. I had to take the baby, but I didn’t realize until I arrived that my stroller was in the other car. So I raced through that store with a three-month old in one arm and clothing items in another, barely holding on to everything. I even corralled a salesperson to hold the baby while I tried some things on as fast as I could. Sometimes in public I just feel like such a circus show—and this time, I didn’t even have my two crazy boys!

    Oh the joys of being a mom!

    • says

      This story made my night! I love that. I wait to see moms like you so I can give them a smile or a wink and let them know they are not alone. Good for you for getting some shopping done even though you didn’t have the stroller! PS I have done that so many times. It is so annoying! Especially when they are in that walking stage where they are so SLOW. HA Thanks for sharing!!!

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