I learn so much from my baby. She is so simple in her needs. This morning, as I was attempting to spend some time in the word, she literally came over and sat on my lap, which happened to have my bible and my work book on it. I then sat on the ground, and once again she did the same. Why? Well, she just wanted to be as close to me as possible.
I loved the sermon I had the opportunity to listen to at church yesterday. The pastor went through these verses:
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
2 Peter 1-3
I am still breastfeeding her in the morning and night. Every once in a while (if she falls or is really sleepy) she will plead with me during the day to eat. It looks like this: she will cry, fuss and whine, grab at me, and pull on my shirt. She makes it REALLY clear that she is desperately wanting to be comforted with my nearness.
As a newborn, she would cry and cry until I would feed her. She needed my milk to sustain her. She needed the nourishment, comfort, nearness, and tender love. She was desperate for my embrace. Her little cry was so full of helplessness.
I love the idea of craving pure spiritual milk, so that I may grow up in my salvation. There is nothing else that will “fill” my heart. Just like a newborn baby needs milk and milk alone, my icky and hurting heart needs spiritual milk. I am so often helpless in my state- searching for something to fill the aching hole in my heart.
I grow weary in time spent away from God. My chore list and demands pile up, and I feel like I am running a rat race I can never win. I feel discontent in my soul, worried with things I need to do, fearful in the state of my relationships, and anxiety that I am not doing “enough” in my life.
God is so good. When I spend time with Him, he revives my soul and comforts me. I am renewed in my faith. There is no substitute for this soul-transforming time. No amount of exercise, self-help book reading, time with friends, success in my blog or business, or time spent with family trumps my time spent in God’s love letters to me. It is necessary for me to do this so my heart is filled with love that I may then love my friends and family well- and also remember that I am loved too.
Knowing that craving God’s word does not come natural is a relief to me. Knowing that I need to make room for God is a good thing. While I can fill my time with errands, social media, and friendships with no problem, filling my time with meditating on truth is a struggle. For years I felt guilty or bad about not desiring to spend time with God. The truth is, the desire sometimes comes after I make room for it and taste it once again. If I eat fast food for weeks and then try a salad the salad tastes bland, even though it is what my body needs. My heart often works the same way. If I fill my life with super exciting and stimulating things, stopping to spend quiet and thoughtful time with the Lord will seem mundane or pointless. I have to taste and see once again how good it is. It develops a healthy craving in my heart to desire and need God in my life. And once I fill up on that goodness, my soul longs for more, and there is no where else I can go in the world to find that nourishment for my heart.