Let’s skip back a year…
Before we had Lillian, he had the opportunity to start a gym with a buddy. His dream job. Live in a vacation spot destination (Park City), be his own boss, train people on Crossfit and outdoor recreation activities. A hop, skip, and jump from some of the best mountain biking and fly fishing around.
Then I got pregnant.
He could have still gone after his dream job. I would have stood behind him. Would I have been worried? Maybe. I have found it is always better to let a man come to his own reasons than for a wife to nag him. We could have made it work. Yet he passed on the opportunity.
At the time, he had just started a good job and made a decent salary. It isn’t wasn’t his dream job, but it payed the bills and had good medical insurance. He decided to stay there and work. He put off his dream. Something in his heart caused him to stay where he was at to support us.
Why is this all so fresh in my memory now? Well, because a few weeks ago we stood in the gym that he could have started with his buddy. I held the hand of our precious daughter and we watched the man in our life do pull-ups on some machines and check out his best friends’ dream come true. I watched my husband as he strolled behind his buddy, admiring how far the gym had come and marveling that it is almost finished.
My heart ached for my husband. I watched him congratulate his buddy on accomplishing his dream to own his gym. I long for him to have a job that is fulfilling. At the same time, I stood there, so grateful for this man who put aside his longings for a little while to sacrifice for our family. In that moment, the immense amount of respect and love I had for him was like new again. It hit me all at once the huge decision he had made: he chose us over his dream.
How often I nag him about little things I want or complain about our life? Perhaps I’ve gotten better with time and wisdom, but there are times when I can’t seem to see past the little storms in my life.
I saw a rainbow. I felt gratitude dump into my heart for my husband. I am so grateful that he is so loving to us. I long now, perhaps more than ever, for him to go after the desires of his heart and find his calling.
I am also amazed and humbled that for a period of time he found us as his calling. He has been choosing to work hard in a mediocre job to put food on the table.
Every young man has dreams and wants to do them. For my husband, those dreams are filled with adventure, wandering, doing something great with friends, making a difference in people’s lives, and being in nature as much as he can. I know that choosing to put us before his dreams was the most sacrificial, mature, self-controlled decision he has made; and one that marked him in growing up. It was a high compliment, and has caused my heart to explode with respect for him. He did the right thing for himself and his heart, and I no he has no regrets. Perhaps that is the most amazing part of all. He chose this path and I am so thankful to God that I never asked him to. There truly can be goodness in patience, trust, and hope that our husbands will make good decisions. Even if it is scary relinquishing control and trusting God with our lives.
So, I am writing this post to encourage all of us women. Does your husband play too many video games? Does he hang with his buddies too much? Watch too much football? Forget to clean up after himself? Neglect date nights or quality time?
Whatever your little “storm” is, what is he doing? What ways has he put you first or sacrificed his longings for you? How does he show you he loves you? What has he done in the past to show his devotion for you?
These are the big picture things I think we women tend to forget and praise the men in our lives for.
Thank him, hug him- today! He longs to hear you respect what he does, are grateful to have him in your life, and appreciate him.
Gratitude can change our hearts and renew our minds. When we set our eyes on the big picture, our little storms seem less big and scary. Our relationships transform and grow stronger, and love and respect can grow like crazy. Believing in our husbands is one of the most powerful things we can do. The start of belief in your husband can be as simple as reminding yourself of the good he has already done. Who knows what will grow from there.