Bloggers: let’s stop judging one another!

Lately I have seen two of my favorite bloggers depart from the blogging community for a while. Sad. 
I felt prompted to give a response to this. I have thought a ton about this over the past year. I recently visited a blog you might know- the Matt Walsh blog, and was HORRIFIED at the mean comments people wrote. I mean, I know this is the web and we are to be open to ideas. But these weren’t comments that were left in for thoughtful debate. They were debasing and cruel. 
Do you live in a home? Probably. Would you want someone you don’t know to bombard in and tell you how to live? 
Our blogs are our real estate. I own my blog, and you own yours. You can post as much as you want when you want. There are no hard, fast rules for blogging. 
“She takes too many sponsored posts”. Maybe she has a family she needs to feed. 
“She posts too many pictures of her baby.” Maybe that baby is more important to her than material things. 
“She only posts twice a week.” Maybe she takes her job and life seriously and doesn’t have much more time to commit. 
“She hasn’t responded to my comment.” Maybe there is an issue in the family preventing her from doing so. 
“She doesn’t have many followers.” Maybe she doesn’t give a CRAP. 
Sheesh. I am sorry for the vent. Writing is supposed to be art. We share our life experiences through words. They carry our hearts. It is so scary and vulnerable to put yourself out there in this day and age. I am terrified half of the time to really share my faith or feelings about hard topics. Why? Because any person out there can come and bash me for my honest to God faith just because they think it is wrong or their way of life is better. It IS so much easier to keep things shallow than delve into deeper issues. I would way rather post about fashion or a great products because what is the loss if someone disagrees? Surface level, really. 
What is with all the judging? Where do the stats and numbers get you anyways, really? What is all this “climb over one another” with such a competitive spirit? Why did we start blogging, anyways? Because that is what it all comes back to in the end. My husband reminded me of that the other day when I took a job that I realized was getting way off base. He told me, in an encouraging way, to be true to myself. I might have less followers, but I will feel good about the writing I am putting out there. It was a gut check for me, and SO freeing. I have been checking my stats a lot less since, and worrying tons less about what people “think”. Success is good! Making money is great! It is not the end all to blogging. Sharing experiences with others is what matters the most. Am I crying over making a small mistake? No way. I re-evaluate and move on. Should we judge other bloggers for momentary changes in their blog or changing directions? I hope not! 

Brad Pitt said this in an interview with Rolling Stone: 
Pitt: “Man, I know all these things are supposed to seem important to us – the car, the condo, our version of success – but if that’s the case, why is the general feeling out there reflecting more impotence and isolation and desperation and loneliness? If you ask me, I say toss all this – we gotta find something else. Because all I know is that at this point in time, we are heading for a dead end, a numbing of the soul, a complete atrophy of the spiritual being. And I don’t want that.”

Being the top blogger is not what is most important. Finding meaning in blogging and this world (for me in Christ), is what is most important. Success, over time, fades. My relationships with some of you are SO much more important than that. Hands down. 

I love this place. It is like home to me. My version of home. You may not be comfortable here, and that is ok! But I never want to tell you how to run your household. Let’s stop judging one another! 

At the end of the day, these are REAL people behind the blogs with hearts that really beat. Let’s remember that, .

Comments

  1. Savanna McCurry says

    I agree with you! It’s unfortunate that people have been making comments and judging others. We should be lifting each other up and supporting one another. If someone doesn’t like what you have to say, they don’t have to read your blog! I love that quote from Brad Pitt… so sad and so true.

  2. Katie @ A Worker at Home says

    Could not agree more!! Thank you for putting into writing what so many of us have been thinking! Your blog has always been an encouragement to me and I’m thankful that there are bloggers like you out there!

  3. vintagezest says

    I’m so lucky to not have encountered this yet, but I sincerely hope there are more people like you out there instead of those horrid commenters! 🙂

  4. says

    This is a wonderful post, and an excellent reminder for anyone. My husband asked me the other day how many people I had following my blog, and then he asked me if I could actually visualize that many people in one place. It gave me better perspective about ensuring that my words build people up…remembering every single person who reads what we write has a history of hurts, situations, etc that we may not understand. My most recent post was the first one I have written that came across as being unsupportive to mothers and women everywhere (I was criticizing Gisele Bundchen), and I feel badly about my mistake. If she were to actually read what I wrote, I would feel awful. I forgot she is a real person. But I decided to leave the post up, because it’s part of my history now. Sigh. Sorry for the terribly long comment. 🙂 Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

  5. Nora Spaulding says

    AMEN! Thank you for taking all these words out of my head… I am thinking the same thing and prevents me from writing when I want to. I appreciate any and all support I get. Its really horrible when people are so cruel and mean to each other.

  6. says

    So true, I think we all blog for the same reason, because we love to do it. We can’t all be the best most famous blogger out there but we can all be respectful and supportive of each other. No matter how big or small your following never give up something you love to do for the sake of numbers and followers.

  7. Jessica Barlow says

    Hey, Tiffany! I’m a newbie reader, but couldn’t read and not thank you for this post! While I’ve been a reader of blogs for a while, I’ve only be a writer of one for a very short time…it seems there’s been a huge shift in the purpose of blogging – it’s become a much more competitive arena. To be honest, it scared me to even start a blog. I didn’t know if it would be worth it to try and “make it” in the seemingly “dog eat dog” world of blogging…I’m not crafty, design savvy, stylish, and most definitely not a good cook! HAHA! In the beginning, I would read all about how to find a niche and have “success” and for a while, I tried that…but it became SO stressful and I was completely losing sight of “myself.” (Trying to have someone else’s voice is never a good thing!) Needless to say, blogging became a chore, and not something I enjoyed. If anything it would just remind me of all the things I WASN’T and of things with which I could never compete. Recently, I decided to just not give a crap, as you put it above. 🙂 I may not fall into a niche, and I’m no expert at anything, but I do love my family with all of my heart and I love to write. And while I’d love to have folks to interact with via blogging, at the end of the day, if I’m the only one reading, then that is okay. If nothing else, I have documented memories for my boys to have when they are grown. I look forward to reading more here!!

    xo,
    Jessica @ beingbarlow.com

  8. Lena B, Actually says

    Well said!! I’ve definitely given up trying to please others… I’ve overcome my need for “more & more & more”… because that’s not what my blog is about. It’s a hobby. It’s a place to share… everyone is welcomed, but I have no need or desire to be anything but me. To each their own!

  9. Brittany says

    I love your conviction! I too have noticed the absence of several of my favorite bloggers lately and it’s so upsetting that it’s over people who are hiding behind the anonymity of the internet and they’re down-right nasty. Thanks for taking such a strong stance against the hatefulness.

    Brittany @ Everyday
    Thoughts

  10. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    Thank you Brittany for your comment! I am so saddened by it all. But we all just need to come together and uphold one another in encouragement!

  11. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    Hi Jessica,

    I am so glad to meet you and that this post resonated with you. Keep on blogging lady! The whole “niche” idea- I threw that out the door too. I am definitely NOT fashionable (I have to take my sis with me to the store or go somewhere with great customer service. I am notorious for picking out hideous things!).

    I will come check out your blog. I love your comment!

  12. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    Thanks Tamara! I saw your comment on Wifessionals. Your such an encouragement! I appreciate this comment and support.

  13. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    We totally need to continue to give one another support and encouragement. I agree! I know the Brad Pitt comment is so sad and true. Thanks for your comment. 🙂

  14. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    Thanks Kelly! I hope all is well with you guys. I was LOVING your post the other day about Christmas. It made me cry. Your an amazing writer.

  15. Tiffany Cutcliff says

    I hope you don’t encounter it! I haven’t much myself either, but I do see the rhetoric go around here and there. I avoid drama like it is the plague! Thank you for your comment.

  16. says

    Yes. Just because we blog, does not mean we have to follow any rules. I know, personally, blogging is more fun when I write for me and not care about what other people think.

  17. Kelly Rodriguez says

    This is a great post! Life is too short to spend energy being unkind. We should be supporting each other. Blogging makes us vulnerable. If we’re putting ourselves out there, it’s just wrong to be mean to someone else. The issue is with them, but still…words hurt. Happy New Year! Stopping by via the Let’s Be Friends blog hop. Cheers!
    Kelly
    http://www.alovelylifeindeed.com

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