What really matters

A weekend in the woods can do a lot to a woman’s heart. I had some time to think last weekend, sans laptop or media. I know of a family right now who has a little girl fighting cancer. She is currently just out of the ICU. I tried to say a prayer, but nothing seemed to feel or sound right. I believe in the power of prayer, but everything I said felt petty or not enough. So I just sat there and silently said her little name a few times, hoping God would understand what I was trying to say. 
Away from the fluff and stress of life, I was able to think about the things that really matter. 
Health. Safety. Warmth. Freedom. 
These simple things we take for granted. 
Running water. Access to a dentist or health provider. The ability to birth our children in environments which do their best to ensure an infant lives. 
The ability, as a woman, to choose my career path or stay home with my children and not have to work in sex slavery or exist in any form of slavery, whatsoever. 
That I can pray, freely, to Jesus, without being punished or hurt for doing so. 
This morning, I recognize my hard heart. I see all the areas in which I take for granted so many little things that are actually the most important things. If I were to have my last day, all I would want are the ones I love in my arms. Maybe a little coffee and warm bread. And I would want time to pass as slow as possible, just being near to those that have my heart. 
Why do I let little foxes ruin my spoil my vine? Lord, give me the wisdom to fight for what really matters and have my head on straight. 
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Solomon 2:15

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