Take romance out of the box

romace

How many things does your husband do, perhaps unnoticed, that are romantic?

I used to expect flowers on Valentine’s day or a necklace at our anniversary. I would get disappointed when my expectations weren’t met.

I had wrong expectations.

My husband is a cook. He spends hours poring over the internet for recipes, actually takes time to read cookbooks, learns proper technique, and spends lots of energy and love to make our meals.

As I have watched our marriage mature over the past four short years, I have observed the ways in which my husband works his romance. He is not a “gift-giver” in the traditional sense. He rarely buys me presents. I can literally count on my hand the presents he has bought me. A fantastically soft hoodie to wear with my nightgowns, wool socks, wool gloves, running shoes, and a camera. Each gift took serious thought. He has, however, made me lots of things. He once made me a bouquet of flowers while on a camping trip. He even tied the wildflowers with string. He has made me pieces of furniture, cooked me wonderful meals, and even has drawn me a couple pictures.

I think as women it is easy to compare our marriage to other marriages and our husbands to other husbands. We may think that we are not being treated as kindly or nicely as other women get treated, or worse, that our husbands are “unfair” to us. I have found it is poisonous to compare my marriages with others.

Marriage is hard, and it can get easy to get down about our spouses when we are in a time of struggle or just the mundane days of life. I find it is important to remember a few things to keep my mind straight about the love of my life. I think what is most important is remembering: remembering why I fell in love with him, the oaths we made to each other, how he has shown me love in the past, how he shows me daily his love, and most importantly, remembering to pray for him and his needs.

Once, my husband wrote me a card that was simple, but my favorite card I have or will ever receive (up until now). It simply said, “Remember, I DO love you.” For days when I struggle to feel loved or appreciated, I look at that card that sits at my desk.

Just like we are all made different, with different passions and interests, our husbands are all different, too. They all may not subscribe to the traditional ways of romance. What ways does your husband show you his love? How can you find the subtle ways in which he communicates his love to you? Does he make sure your oil is always changed, make you dinner, or tell you that you look lovely? Share with me the ways you take romance out of the box!

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

Comments

  1. Robin Rue says

    This is a great post. My husband does a lot for me that I take for granted sometimes, but he really is a keeper.

  2. Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle says

    It’s so important to remember that men are wired COMPLETELY differently from women. We say “I love you” with warm fuzzies. Men say it with building things, killing things, and solving things.

  3. Alli Smith says

    My husband knows I hate to pump gas so he always makes sure I have a tank full. And he always puts me first, always. He truly is my BFF. What did I ever do to deserve him? 🙂

  4. says

    Tiffany – My hubby does share in all the housework and cooks a couple times a week – extra special is when he saves a bit of breakfast to take with me when I’m running or have a call – and visiting with me before and after work – And – Wow – love your Proverbs quote – beautiful reminders – Big hugs 🙂

  5. says

    I believe love is not only expressed in the words used, but mostly in the actions shown. I also believe you really have to see the little things that make a big impact.

  6. says

    I love this!! Joe is not a romantic person at all, no flowers, no sappy love notes, etc. But I’ve learned his little ways for saying “I love you” and they’ve become romantic to me because when he does things, I realize he really cares, and then he gets uncomfortable because I get sappy about it 😉 haha

  7. says

    My husband told me he loved me by telling me he wanted a divorce, lol. Honestly though, I’m glad he did. Now I can move on and be happy in life and not dwell on the what if’s.

    • Tiffany Cutcliff says

      Oh, Natalie, I am sorry. I have been divorced myself, and no matter what, it hurts. Thank you for your comment. 🙂

    • Tiffany Cutcliff says

      I think that is great. He has’t read this yet, he might not love all the mushiness of it! 🙂

  8. CourtneyLynne Storms says

    Awwwww how great was this?!?! Your hubby sounds too cute :):) my hubby rarely says I love you, but when he does its special becaus I know he’s not really an emotional person so he’s saying it because he really means it 🙂

  9. Kori says

    We say I love you every night, every morning, and when he leaves for work. Neither of us are very romantic people but we still show love.

  10. Terri Ramsey Beavers says

    My husband saying “I love you to me every morning, before go to work and before go to sleep. He was really sweet hubby in the world.

  11. says

    My husband says he loves me by letting me be me!! He probably isn’t ok with me shopping and owning a ton of makeup, but he puts up with it lol!

  12. chubskulit says

    Must be nice to have a husband that cooks! Mine does it once in a while but very rarely, just on special occasions or when I am not feeling well. He does things that I love though, makes me feel so loved all the time.

  13. says

    My hubs has many ways he shows his love for me, including doing the dishes for me all the time. He knows as a nail blogger I can’t risk breaking a nail so he does all the activities that would put my nails at risk. It means so much for me that he puts in all that extra effort.

  14. says

    I feel so blessed to have a romantic husband, too! My husband isn’t much of gift giver (holiday during holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays) either, but he shows his love in other ways. 🙂

  15. Rebecca Swenor says

    Interesting post indeed. We all are different and it makes one thing that gift give comes in many different ways for everyone. Thanks for sharing.

  16. says

    This is so very true! I get disheartened every so often because my husband is not terribly romantic. But when he does something special for me on a normal day, it means that much more. 🙂

  17. Kelly Hutchinson says

    Sometimes I get down because my husband is not the gift giving type. But he does so many other great things, I cannot complain.

  18. mail4rosey says

    I think it’s nice to see our spouses in a positive light. That’s of course the way we want them to see us too! Tit for Tat and all that. 🙂

  19. Michelle D. Johnson Garrett says

    I can relate to this in so many ways. My husband and I struggled for years because of a disconnect in what we did and the others expectations. Realizing the little things he does out of love on a regular basis makes a huge difference and me more appreciative and understanding.

  20. Ashley says

    I love this post, but sometimes I still want to feel wined and dined like the old days. My husband works for 12 hours or more each day so that I can stay home with our children, so I appreciate that, and understand why we don’t do much. 🙂

  21. Erin Kennedy says

    This is so sweet. I love this and think it is super important. Thanks for sharing this personal story.

  22. says

    That last sentence gave me goosebumps. I love that you recognize the way that your husband shows love, how sweet and thoughtful all of the things he does with you in mind. He thinks of you, a lot. I recently became sick, a 2.5 year journey so far, bed rest for 10 months of that time. A stroke, and other horrid things. But my husband picked up all the slack caring for me, running me here and there, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, child rearing. I see God’s hand in our lives, and I see the love my husband exudes for me each day. Is this the way that I wanted to learn how important I was? No, but perhaps it was what I needed in order to see. Thanks for the reminder.

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