How many things does your husband do, perhaps unnoticed, that are romantic?
I used to expect flowers on Valentine’s day or a necklace at our anniversary. I would get disappointed when my expectations weren’t met.
I had wrong expectations.
My husband is a cook. He spends hours poring over the internet for recipes, actually takes time to read cookbooks, learns proper technique, and spends lots of energy and love to make our meals.
As I have watched our marriage mature over the past four short years, I have observed the ways in which my husband works his romance. He is not a “gift-giver” in the traditional sense. He rarely buys me presents. I can literally count on my hand the presents he has bought me. A fantastically soft hoodie to wear with my nightgowns, wool socks, wool gloves, running shoes, and a camera. Each gift took serious thought. He has, however, made me lots of things. He once made me a bouquet of flowers while on a camping trip. He even tied the wildflowers with string. He has made me pieces of furniture, cooked me wonderful meals, and even has drawn me a couple pictures.
I think as women it is easy to compare our marriage to other marriages and our husbands to other husbands. We may think that we are not being treated as kindly or nicely as other women get treated, or worse, that our husbands are “unfair” to us. I have found it is poisonous to compare my marriages with others.
Marriage is hard, and it can get easy to get down about our spouses when we are in a time of struggle or just the mundane days of life. I find it is important to remember a few things to keep my mind straight about the love of my life. I think what is most important is remembering: remembering why I fell in love with him, the oaths we made to each other, how he has shown me love in the past, how he shows me daily his love, and most importantly, remembering to pray for him and his needs.
Once, my husband wrote me a card that was simple, but my favorite card I have or will ever receive (up until now). It simply said, “Remember, I DO love you.” For days when I struggle to feel loved or appreciated, I look at that card that sits at my desk.
Just like we are all made different, with different passions and interests, our husbands are all different, too. They all may not subscribe to the traditional ways of romance. What ways does your husband show you his love? How can you find the subtle ways in which he communicates his love to you? Does he make sure your oil is always changed, make you dinner, or tell you that you look lovely? Share with me the ways you take romance out of the box!
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.