What would happen if you actually believed you were:
What would your life look like? How would you spend your time differently? Less time in front of the mirror, on Facebook, or calculating calories? Would you worry as much? Would you spend as much on clothes, makeup, shoes, or salon visits?
Let me ask a few more questions- would you feel more free to get crazy and dance in the rain if someone asked you to? Play in the pool with your kids on a whim? Go on a last minute run with your husband? Leave the house on a whim without makeup? Go several days “unplugged” from all social media? Spend less time comparing, criticizing, or complaining? Would you wish more or less? Would contentment come easier?
I am not really asking you. See, this is a letter to myself. I struggle with these heart-issues. I confess, I am more shallow and lacking in trust in God than I wish to say. I doubt, worry, and stress over things that really hold no eternal weight.
Psalm 139:14 tells us, “For you are beautiful, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” 1 Peter 3:4 says, “Your beauty should be that of the inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”. We are lovely because God made us. It is as simple as that. We are each made unique, from the number of hairs on our head to the sound of our voice to our thoughts and talents. I cannot morph into being another person, nor should I. I was made to live as me. I wear my skin the best. God clothed me as he found suitable and good. How could I choose better than God? Also, I often forget that looks are not simply what is outside. There are dimensions to all of us, levels of beauty that permeate much deeper than skin. Have you ever been around someone much older than you who was simply beautiful, but not only because they were pretty or dressed nice? Perhaps they had a youthful, vibrant soul or fire in their eyes or so much joy that you couldn’t resist being around them? Beauty is SO much more than what our society tells us. Beauty is unfading, content, and comfort.
I often wonder if I am enough? I feel inadequate compared to many friends with high achievements. Some have become doctors, some talented musicians or artists, and some high-powered women in the corporate world. And here I am, 5’1 me, “just” staying at home and trying to keep up a blog. (I put “just” in quotes because of how many times I hear that used, by even myself at times). Can you almost hear the sound of a whine? Yet, I have a beautiful and incredible daughter who fills my days with stories and songs and more giggles than I will ever be able to contain in my memories. I am blessed with a husband who roots me on in my efforts to be at home with my daughter, and loves me for where I have chosen to be. This is the job God has appointed to me. It may be humble and low on the totem pole, little to no room for advancement, and super long hours- but it is ever changing and certainly never boring. In fact, if I must confess, I love it. How dare I complain about my chosen occupation to stay at home with my kiddo. It is not a burden and I am not a victim. I love it and I love what I can do for my family. Am I enough? No. In fact, I am a big hot mess of hormones and indecisiveness most of the time. Is God enough? Yes. And when I come to this conclusion I can rest and count it all as a joy. I can depend on him, which takes the burden of depending on myself off my shoulders.
There are so many bible verses that tell me of God’s rich mercies towards us and his lavish love. Ephesians 2:4-9, Matthew 6:25-34, Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 10:31, and MANY MORE. Yet, almost every day, I forget. Here is the thing I am learning: it is so much less about me and so much more about God. When I step back and look at things in light of eternity, my day to day makes so much more sense. My priorities align in a much more simple fashion. I wonder less and less if I am lovely, enough, talented, or worthy- because I find all those things in Christ and my identity is in Him. My heart is turned to other issues and other people; not myself. And I can rest and smile.